Life experience topics
The advantage of growing older is becoming more experienced in life. Literally. Therefore I
would like to highlight a couple of topics.
Stress and tiredness related to perceived study achievements or other achievements. Some young people experience tension and stress by the high demands that they feel imposed upon them by society, by school and studies or even by well-meaning parents. In fact it already start at primary school with the cito-tests. These perceived high demands can have a wide range of effects on your success and on your well-being both in a positive and a negative way.
When I was young I had to juggle with my Gymnasium-B education and my international badminton career (national Dutch junior team and national Dutch team). Believe me when I say I have suffered more than I wanted to admit. Instead of only enjoying the ride of success I felt the pressure to always perform. For the outside world it looked all wonderful, but I was always tired, both physically and mentally. Winning or passing a test was such a brief moment of ‘success’ because the next test and match were already waiting for me to perform, again and again and again. Teachers and coaches were pushing me on a daily basis. My parents had identified with my achievements and success. Of course I did not want to disappoint anybody. I felt as if I had not many choices any more to keep everybody happy. Fortunately, I have chosen in time to do things my way on my terms. I have disappointed some people, but I also have become a happier person and I enjoyed both my badminton and my school more which in turn was best for my achievements. I actually still enjoy studying so much that I am finishing my second master degree. I also still enjoy competitive badminton that I managed to win three world cup bronze medals (in my age group). What are your options to deal with this type of stress?
What are the limiting assumptions that you hold, when you line up your options? What do you really want to achieve?
Divorce
The top three most stressful events in a person’s life are: death, divorce and moving house. Unfortunately divorce is reality for too many people. Every divorce is different and needs different support. It also needs decision making, which is difficult because of all the unsettled emotions that accompany a divorce. Also take into consideration the effects on the children, the housing situation and the finances. A divorce is one long chain of impactful changes with unknown outcome. This can be very scary and stressful. I believe that your emotional sanity and fitness are key to keep calm and make good decisions. Science has indicated that in general, decisions are driven by emotions (and not by rationality) and that the best decisions are taken based on rationality and logical thinking (and not based on emotions). Can you see now, how divorce and decision making can be very challenging?
How can you stay emotionally sane and fit? Which of your thoughts and ideas are rational and which are irrational?